at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize