i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
