I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
