So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
