Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
