Pants 0. Shit 1.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wish i was in the wii world.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
