I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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