In America we eat man semen.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
