never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
