Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
