From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
