Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize