The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
3 2 1 whiskey
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize