I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize