this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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