You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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