i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
