Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize