We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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