Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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