I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize