these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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