But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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