'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
