Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
