Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
