Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
