I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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