GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
