kristin has been a bad kristin
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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