I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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