There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
