Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dicks are not precious.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize