didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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