the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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