Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
