yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
