i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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