Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
