Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
