You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How many fucks given?
0.12846
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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