is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize