i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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