Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
