I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
