my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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