WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
