i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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