I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
we're so committed to being not committed
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
