The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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