you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
