I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
