So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
