guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
