you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
