He uses pillows to masturbate.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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