What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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