saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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