I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
