imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
