Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
