I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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