after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it's like heaven, but drunker
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
